Help me and I will Help myself

I dont know If I can still do this Im loosing it I know.
I am even ware of it. Have I loose my mind? Where is my unwavering faith?
This has got to stop. or Im starting to be cruel to myself
I want to punish myself for it


Think think think


I dont want to analyze it anymore It is starting to consume me
I feel so mistreated so misguide so lost But still all I want is to run after it
I know what I want but is it for the best Im walking... spinning but nowhere to go
I know where I should go but it doesnt make any sense




Feel feel Feel


Im starting again to feel what I am not supposed to feel Can someone just scrape it off my heart
And be new again?  or Can I take some medicine to take my pain away or shall I wait?
I am so damn good at everything but not this.
My forte is somewhere out there Please help Im desperate


What will I learn from this can it not be quick and get to the point?
I am faltering here somebody grab my hand or I might fall
Fall into abyss of loneliness and despair


Get a hold of yourself.. Be strong you are not alone
Just pray and take things as it happens  

After all that I have Survived

We seldom forget the importance of a person to us until they were gone I should know I have experience such a heartbreaking event. Almost about to give up on everything my family my friends, my career and school.

And for what? Will he come back if I finally succeeded at destroying my own life? Will he take me back? Will he want someone who got no passion apart from him? Who thinks only of him? And not the beauty of life in itself? The one who settles her life in a way that it only revolves around him? I don’t think so.

Most of the time you got to strengthens yourself up. Walk through life as if you are not hurt and as if you are having the time of your life. Mind you this is not hypocrisy, but it’s more of accepting a reality no matter how painful it is. And when you think about it moving up is just the lone option that you have. Why? Because that’s just how it is.

You fail you stand up and try again. If you are still at the verge of failure maybe you are missing an important detail. Make adjustments do things that you do not usually do. Have fun live your life. Think of it this way you have loved and you were loved, a learning experience that will make you a better person.

Things change people change it doesn’t mean you have to always live in despair and remain in such desperate state. It must be a preparation for something special. The bigger picture that you are trying to avoid. Losing someone is not the end of it all in fact it is a beginning of a brand new you.

Getting by seems difficult if you don’t have make effort of making it into reality. First you must grieve and tell a reliable friend about it pour out your feelings unedited uncolored just as the way you feel it. And then focus yourself on the things that you still have the people that you somehow neglected when you were on your merry state. Thank them for staying beside you and for always being there to guide and support you.

In life no matter how great a situation is it doesn’t always remain as rosy as it is. In love it’s not all pleasure you got to have some scars in order to be taught a valuable lessons that will equip you to have a great character. Hurting is not the point of everything it is the faith within you that must be intensified.